Relationship Status:
Partnered

Zip Code:
53208

JENNIFER:

We hope coming out in this big way – and as a family – will support positive social changes in wider society.

Our blended family, with two moms and a multiracial bunch of kids (there are three others who aren't in the photo), is still a normal family. We take good care of each other. We learn from each other. We strive for success, both as a family and as responsible members of the broader community. We're good people who work very hard and give a lot to our city. Shouldn't our family portrait bring out the same warm feelings any other picture of a happy family does?

TINA:

I know what a difference it makes to see positive images that represent yourself and your family. It builds confidence, strength, hope and joy. I am hoping that other children and adults will see our photo and know that they are not alone.

What advice would you have for someone who wants to be supportive of their gay neighbors?

JENNIFER:

If you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, come out to your neighbors. Coming out is the single most effective action you can take to increase visibility and acceptance and to support pro-family policy changes.

TINA:

When you hear anti-gay comments or jokes, say "Hey, that's not okay. I have gay neighbors and they are really great people."

JENNIFER:

Don't assume that your LGBT neighbors know that you're an ally. You have to let us know. Understand that if we don't know you're an ally, we may be hesitant to do some of the things neighbors do, like inviting your kids over to play, asking for help with a big yard project, or getting involved with a neighborhood event you're planning. Sometimes we want to be part of these social activities but fear gets in the way. Please invite us!

Are there any laws that affect you, your relationships or your children as an ally or member of the LGBT community?

JENNIFER:

Yes, our marriage is not recognized in Wisconsin. Although we have been legally married in Canada, in the United States we're treated as totally unrelated people. That hurts in financial, psychological, and spiritual ways. We don't get tax, inheritance, and insurance benefits that heterosexual families receive, but there are also the more personal impacts: Our commitment to each other and to our kids is challenged every day by society at large. Our children have to live with the sense that our family is somehow not as good as everyone else's. Day to day, we all have to waste energy on defending our family in the most mundane situations, like going to the doctor or checking in on a child's progress at school.

TINA:

I want to be able to marry my partner in Wisconsin so that if anything happened to either one of us, we would be able to stay involved in each other's kids' lives. Right now, if something happened to me, Jennifer would have no legal rights to maintain partial custody of our children, and vice versa. It would be devastating to lose the person you love and then have to fight to stay involved with the children you've helped to raise, all because the laws of this state are not fair for LGBT families.